The soundtrack was more or less what one would expect from my humble franchise, with generic techno and rock pieces playing over the fight scenes.Īh, the fight scenes. The English cast (I did not feel like forcing myself through this a second time to form an opinion on the Japanese audio track) includes a plethora of well-known names, many of which did a very competent job on conveying the very flawed script. Speaking of voices, that is something I found myself to be mildly delighted with in regards to this production. I do believe your life would be greatly improved by purchasing and listening to said work of musical art.
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Did I ever mention that I have a beautiful singing voice? In fact, my debut single, "I Am Wonderful (And You Wish You Were Me)" is available for download at bTunes right now. I might even go so far as to say that I would have come up with a much more satisfying story.īut enough of that.
Indeed, my presence would have greatly improved this vulgar display of plotting incompetence. None of the characters have their personalities fleshed out, and none of their motives nor objectives were ever clearly explained. The answer to all of those questions, children, is no. Was Shin Kamiya actually relevant to anything ever? Was there a point to the whole Xiaoyu and Alisa friendship story? Was the convenient ancient power buried under some castle ages ago that the villain used to fashion a giant mecha made of wooden statues ever explained or given any foreshadowing whatsoever? The main flaw of the story is that plotlines are frequently picked up and then unceremoniously dropped mere moments later. Sebastian, shut down the Tekken Wiki for feeding me false information!Īnyway, none of this is actually important, as it is simply pointless build-up to a highly ridiculous finale where a father and his beloved son turn into dragons and start firing laser beams at each other.Īnd no, it doesn't make any more sense in context. Hm? What's that? Shin wasn't actually in any of the games and was just created for the sole purpose of being a generally unimportant non-character to fill empty spaces in promotional images? O-of course I knew that! I was just testing you. The story revolves around some high school girl I don't know being hired by some evil corporation to spy on a strapping young lad named Shin Kamiya, whom you may know from the hit Tekken spin-off: A Certain Ridiculous Plot Device. Now, without further ado, let us get to the bottom of things.
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fans of the series would enjoy seeing the side characters get 93 minutes in the limelight.
After all, I am the main character of the Tekken franchise, and the entire plot revolves around me and my exciting exploits. Now, many (or all) of you may find my omission from this movie to be highly alarming. Instead, they offered me to watch and review it for this particular website, an offer I graciously accepted. Due to the informal situation, you may call me Lili.Īs many of you have no doubt noticed, Namco made the very questionable decision to omit me from the CGI feature "Tekken: Blood Vengeance".
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